Repentance

I have been rude I know that much,
But you behaved too unwell so my behaviour was such,
You may have felt bad although I felt worse,
Chiding you like that for the demeanour you showed,
You desereved less, I gave you bit more,
Of both love & the angst that I showed,
I may say sorry but that won't matter now,
For the past that's gone cannot be brought back anyhow,
I repent in vain but cannot help it,
Wondering how could I say those words to you,
I feel so meaningless & teared within,
Becoming every instant so mindingly thin,
From the heart which wants to run away from my soul now,
As it has sinned to speak so ill of you to you,
What can I do pray give some advice,
So that in your eyes my esteem can again be nice,
Or else I will die thinking it a crime,
Nah, that would be too much at an age so prime,
But I surely will never be able to forget this folly,
Till you say for what I said you forgave me,
Lonely I was before lonely I will ever be,
Since you have turned your head away from me,
Meaning what was not to be meant was too much to say,
For what I have done now I know it's my turn to pay,
Forgive me my dear forgive oh my angel,
I am sunk in heart in mind & in spirit so I just want to say,
I beg of you with my heart please don't continue to play,
So that I may not have to keep repenting for what I did today.