Painless Pain

You play games with me,
And the toy is only me,
Making myself even more hurt than I can ever be,
You play games making a foolish game of me,
And I gladly pay you my servitude for life,
My master you are, binded I am by love,
My love, which you don't pay in return,
Keeping me indulged in the dramas of yours,
You hope to get rid of me soon enough,
But you don't know me neither my love,
Which will be around you forever,
The chaos within my heart is never healed,
You again and again bring back wounds new to me,
The pain of which makes me happy still,
For they are something you give from your heart,
At least I am worthy of your hatred,
If not worthy enough to be loved,
So I accept all you give with a smile,
Even if they rip my soul apart,
The lovely little lacerations caused in your lament,
Obviate all my distress in the hope of seeking you,
Which try vainly to choke me often,
Yet keep my heart beating endlessly,
The pain bestowed is a blessing from you,
And may god never give you such pain,
For one day I will take your leave forever,
Leaving an empty painless wound within your heart.

Silent Promise

Noticing you going by my side each day,
To hide my tears I cannot but look away,
Because you feel nothing for me as far as I know,
Making me feel inside so hollow,
I yearn for you to see beyond my tear,
But alas, my dear you never even care,
Just remind me again and again how much me you loathe,
To trouble me and my thoughts are your only oath,
Still I in your toxic love I am inebriated,
And how much no need to say I have already stated,
But what hurts me most is your ignorance,
About my love and the amount of it's brilliance,
You become deaf whenever I want to make myself heard,
From your blind eyes my love beats are always forcefully returned,
Just for once, please listen to my plea,
You know I will keep my promise as long as I will be,
Still you refuse me for I have nothing to give,
Except my love and the silent promise as long as I live,
A promise that I will love you forever,
A promise that I will leave you never,
You believe me not, or so you say,
And your mistrust exceeds all the price I can pay,
So I reap nothing, except betrayal and sorrow,
But yes, there is always a hope for a new tomorrow,
A new beginning which may take place today,
It doesn't matter that the today can be everyday,
All that matters to me is that you know my love's meaning,
As you are the only one about whom I keep dreaming,
My silent promise just wants to say,
That I will keep loving you each and every day.

I Don't Understand

Sometimes you just stride looking past me afar,
This happens so often, year after year,
Yet sometimes you let me come near to show my love,
Getting me so meeked, so tensed in my nerve,
Perplexed I remain stranded within my heart,
In your memory, your love, your eyes, and your heart,
You belong my beloved to the boughs of the breeze,
Flying oh so tenderly with utter ease,
Still I don't understand what you hold inside,
However I try your thoughts I can never ride,
I seem to know not what you feel about me,
Whether hatred or love or nothing at all for me,
In a state of unconsciousness you drive me dear,
And drive me more so in the distance of my tear,
Which drips along in the agony of not knowing you at all,
For remaining ignorant of the girl in whose love I had to fall,
I chide myself for not understanding you in the beginning,
But it's true too that you never understood my feeling,
We both got stuck in this crowded world,
Depriving us of some loneliness in this world,
You betrayed your anger, so gloomy I got,
For what was the reason of your fear I knew not,
So I just ask you to give a little thought,
With a vow of giving you everything I have got,
And that I will wait for the day when I will fully know,
What you feel and why it you are afraid to show.

The Beautiful You

The wide large eyes, brown and round,

Looking so intently at the infinity of surround,

Wandering aimlessly trying to reflect the thoughts inside,

I so wish these eyes would be on me, not on my side,

For your eyes make me go crazy in your love again and again.

The soft white face, blushing like a bride,

A thing which for you must be of immense pride,

Can make so beautiful this bleak world of mine,

And stop my tears from filling it with brine,

For your face makes me go crazy in your love again and again.

The striking lovely smile, vanishing all my harrowing strife,

Showing me all the glittering jewels of life,

A little laugh of yours sounding like music of the heaven,

To see them forever anything I may have given,

For your smile makes me go crazy in your love again and again.

The black silky hair flowing all around,

The sleek naughty locks teasing me round & round,

The tumultuous approbation of the winds I can hear,

Because all the beauty of your hair compels them to shear,

For your hair makes me go crazy in your love again and again.

You are so beautiful, I cannot describe,

To stay away from you, one must proscribe,

And you are an angel, a magnet of my love,

So white & pure, a sorrowless dove,

For you make me go crazy in your love again and again.

You Never Look Back

I look at you, you never look back,
Not even for a moment, never for a start,
I stare by, like a haunted soul,
Waiting for your eyes, to make me sane again,
But alas, I remain bounded by my insanity,
For you never look back at me,
I can just wait, wait as the days go by,
Waiting for you to look back and try,
To see what you want, see it in your eyes,
As my friends say that you will never be mine,
They see my tearful eyes, wondering whether ever,
Yours will meet them, or will they never,
Your eyes are so brown, glinting like a crown,
But they do not suit you, with your ever lingering frown,
The thing which looks good is only your smile,
And nothing else, not even the thousand stars,
Driving around this world, throwing light upon it,
Like the sun shines and stars twinkle,
You seem to come and go away from me,
Just within my reach then glide away so gracefully,
Leaving me empty hearted taking back your love,
Leaving me lonely again with a bleak promise of your friendship,
And I keep waiting, as the time goes by,
Waiting for you to look back at me someday..

The Name

Pearly shining eyes of yours take away all my glee,
Right from the moment I saw them I began to make my plea,
In my dreams in night and all day long,
You are the only one I see all along,
After you refused there is nothing now I feel,
Defying all my joys my sorrows gleam like steel,
Hoarding all I had withing the realms of your eyes,
Instilling my desires within my lonely cries,
Making up my mind now is a job very rough,
And being without you is even more tough,
Nice you are no doubt and have always been to me,
In spite of that I wish you could also be my destiny,
Like the river wanders away but reaches the sea neither shaken & broken,
Or the rain which always gives back the earth all the water it has taken,
Vain got my pride when I saw the beauty in you,
Everything was mingled into droplets smaller then dew,
You were the reason, the reason for it all,
Of love, of life, the reason of me to fall,
Until I fell so far that I could nothing but love,
Until that very moment when I felt free like a dove,
With the sight of yours, with the world going blur,
All I could see was you, shining brilliantly like a star.

Long Moments

Every single moment despises your absence,
Missing altogether your heavenly essence,
Of live, of life, and of all I know,
But alas, my heart cannot all show.

Every single moment yearns for your arrival,
Still to you my existence is so trivial,
Like grass spread over a single thorn of life,
But you will I sadly know never wipe away my strife.

Every single moment you have given,
For my life is yours which I have lain,
At your hands kill me from the inside,
But in your hope I keep on my stride.

Every single moment now seems so long,
Longer than the moments that seem to have gone,
Wasted in your thoughts with nothing to gain,

But the relish of long moments in their bestowed pain.

Every single moment is for you of mine,

Right since the day the sun began to shine,
And I will love you you better know,
Till all of the stars cease to glow.

You Have Gone So Far

I wait for you, I wait in vain,
Knowing there still are many days left of my pain,
You have gone, gone so far,
Gone further from the farthest star,
You went so fast without saying goodbye,
Leaving me crying all day & night,
In vain as I say in vain as I know,
In vain I try to match with your flow,
I miss you knowing that you won't miss me,
Hell I still love you but the why is a mystery,
The distance of furlongs can never disparage my love,
But yes it does hurt my heart oh my beloved,
Lots of advices & a lotter words,
Can't assuage my grief which feels like swords,
But the truth is known, above and below,
That you are so far from me as far as I know,
You never love, I have realized long ago,
Still I be by your side, like a lingering crow,
You have told me enough, enough I have heard,
It's time you know now my dear beloved,
That in spite of your chiding,
That in spite of your hiding,
I will love you nevertheless,
Though your smile for me is all you may bless,
Every moment to you I will stare,
Waiting for you for a moment to spare,
For you don't know, and may never know ever,
That without being together, we can exist never,
But you are still so far, so far from me,
So far from even, your own destiny,
That is, if you doubt, none but me,
Your very own destiny, is none but me.