The Name

I look in vain, to the falling locks,
Living beside your eyes in shining flocks,
Over the days so much distant you grow,
Vile my desires are sometimes, me being human you know,
Everything about you are alluring from your nose to toes,
You look so perfect to me even God forever knows,
On my heart how I wonder so indelibly you are imprinted,
Uselessly I try to fight to have this feeling lifted,
Purer becomes my love for you each day,
All kindled by your beauty, your edolence & what you say,
Razed I am left, feeling all along unsure at the same,
Up into being prudent, what if my feelings you find verily lame,
Love is not just anything, you yourself acknowledge so,
Grief is all all have, when they find the unright soulmate with to go,
Under all doubts prodigally spent, I would so like you to find,
Paler however my heart may get, only you will be on my mind,
Tomorrow the world may die, but my love will still burn alive,
At each moment of distress & pain, to keep you happy only will I strive.

A Glance

I saw my life yesterday,
She was walking on the road,
I don't know whether she looked at me, but surely looked away,
As if  I was an ugly toad,
I saw my life yesterday after long,
Still I am alive like I was living,
So why did she still give me butterflies?
She isn't the only reason I'm thriving,
But I doubt not, that she's one of them all the same,
Why I live, not only for her,
But she's among the things,
I would surely die for,
What I feel for her I don't know these days,
It has been so long,
I still love her like I used to do,
Or have I actually moved on?
I don't know, I wish I would,
At least some revelations this mysterious life should make,
Everything seems so clandestine these days,
So many dead leaves heaped on the truth left to rake,
A moment is too short to meet again,
And when the banks are asunder who needs a link?
Ignoramus when we are separated long ago,
There's no point now trying to straighten any old kink,
Past is past, it was never meant to be the future,
I should have known that long ago,
If verity had lifted its veil before,
I would not have suffered such a decrepiting blow,
Today she is happy, that's all I need,
And that's all I will ever need to be glad,
What of me, I am dispensable,
Lost in this lovely life, and forever mad.

Why Can't I?

Why can't I remember you anymore?
Like I used to do on those lonely sleepless nights,
Why can't I think of you anymore?
Like I used to when I had nothing left but lonely sighs,
Why can't I love you anymore?
Like I used to do with all my heart till a few days ago,
Why can't I dream of you every night anymore?
Like I used to do when you were all I had to know,
Why can't I feel your breath to be mine anymore?
Like I used to do when you ran merrily past all,
Why can't I feel your heartbeats to be the same as mine anymore?
Like I used to feel when my heart pumped so fast when I saw you in the fall,
Why can't I run to you anymore?
Like a lost puppy following your redolence,
Why can't I speak to you anymore,
Like I used to do so desperately those days,
Why can't I write for you anymore,
Like I used to every moment garnering my love for you,
.....

CAN ANYONE SUGGEST A SUITABLE ENDING OR CONTINUATION?? I am just stuck here.............

Story of A Fallen Angel

I am just sinking, gasping for air, wry, dry, drenched, lost, and immersed eternally, in the nectar of pure untainted darkness, so sweet, so serene, so beautiful, so soothing, so... So fatal... Take me out of this... I feel lonely here without you, and it feels even lonelier when you are around... Now, I can't see any road ahead, just scrounging for some path like some lost vagabond. Everything is blurry... Just darkness, the sound of my heart throbbing for air, dying, slowly, craving for each single atom of air to keep its feeble beats ignited for even a paucity of time. It isn't going to keep me alive for long.. For in this ocean of ignominious sorrow, my own wails are clenching my neck like vile gigantic pincers... The depraved dark water looks unto me, laughing in itself at my pitiable plight... Laughing on my loveless penury... But I am still trying to stay alive with my faltering breaths, so steadily diminishing in intensity, to think, to tell the world my last words before the boundaries between me and this ashened sea cease to exist...

I wanted to make you my life... You refused to even be a part of it... The distance between us now is too vast... Our minds are so far asunder, it can never, ever, ever, decrease now... And the person to blame for that, is none but only me... Me, the protagonist of my poignant tale, me, the felon, me, the lost lover, me, the ruler, me, the vanquished... Me, the fallen angel, waiting to be reborn... Waiting for my wings to regrow looking upwards to heaven, so that I can fly high to my zenith once more to you, to try this fallible life once again, and this hope, this shimmering hope, will keep my soul alive till I am resurrected... Till then, this fallen angel will lie here in a bed of ruins... Waiting... Waiting... And waiting...

And now I can't speak anymore, the lights of my existence are blinking out altogether... I can't go on... But I will... I will have to... I and am ready to die here now, to rise again one day, come back from the land of the dead, only to meet my goddess again, only to meet, YOU...

I'm Not Sorry

It maybe a crime to you, to fall for a beautiful damsel,
But to me, it's a bliss, not any matter of shame,
I didn't ask you to retaliate my love ever,
Just asked you to let me love you forever,
I won't apologize now for falling in your love so much,
Neither can you blame me for that as such,
For that's not what you can decide for me,
I met you in my life, and that was my destiny,
So I proudly proclaim today that I am not sorry for loving you at all,
Rather I am glad to have spent a few moments with you however small,
I thought once I had done a folly, and I am wrong,
But then I realized, how can one be wrong,
If love is the residence of everything,
From life to death and everything in between,
It can't be true, that you should not love,
If you think so for me, then what can I do?

I am not sorry, not at all,
I loved you in spring, still love you in this fall,
And I will always do,
No matter, if you don't, and maybe never will return my love for you. 

Vacations

I'm bored. Simply bored. To the core.
And this was not supposed to happen. I mean, when you hear that there's gonna be an autumn break of a week, you are supposed to get elated, the sleeping, playing, not much studies, and all that. But mid way through my holidays, here I am, writing a post about how bored I am. You can imagine now how desperately I have nothing else to do.
Actually, as I am Bengali, this is a festive season for me. When other Indians follow Navratra and fast, we celebrate our Durga Puja & feast! Again, unity in varied diversity of India, renewed. But all that pushed apart, except roaming about here and there, sometimes with friends, sometimes with parents, I have nothing to do. I think holidays should be abolished. And if they aren't, at least some homework should be given, even in college. After all, who wants to write or study all by himself on his own? Not me. I don't know care about others.
Strictly speaking, these vacations began on an ugly note, or rather say, the last working day of school, oops, I mean college (I forget that I have grown up a bit) ended on an ugly note. Then from the next day, nothing to do, either blogging, or facebooking, or watching the idiot box, or reading, or playing my guitar, but still, those things do come under the nothing to do category to me, because those things hardly need any effort after gaining proficiency.
I think I should take up a new hobby, would be glad if somebody could suggest any. So confused. I could do with something creative or motivational. Till then, eagerly waiting for the regular routine to begin. I miss my friends, a lot. And there's a limit to how friendly you can be with your parents, stuck in your home all day.
These things happen every time with me, but there's a good news. I am not too well, so can spend half the day sleeping. My persistent recurring infection occurred again, so I am weak these days, don't feel like jumping around that much. An excuse to not think idly, you may say.
So much so, typed a little and I am feeling tired. Think I should get some sleep. Let's see what the remaining days are like. Waiting to experience something eventful, maybe on my cards. Who knows? :-)

Funny Notice

I don't know what the hell is going to happen to my country... Read this beside a construction site... The bridge is being built for years now but this was put up quite recently...

A Short Thought

Lonely evenings,
Misty skies,
Lovely life,
But full of lies...

I wrote this a while ago when I was chatting with someone. It just came up in my mind by itself. It was when she asked me the meaning that I realized how deep it went.

"Lovely evenings," means that after the whole day, however the day goes, we feel tried, and feel contented to return home and rest. So regardless of the whether the day was good or bad, we are glad to escape to our own comfort zone of our home. As they say, home sweet home.

"Misty skies," well that's a tricky one. First I thought that meant tears, but one shouldn't always be so negative. I found an optimistic explanation after pondering for a while. It means that the sky is hazed, beautiful, and new life is coming. Maybe it will rain too, to give birth to new life from the seeds buried inside the earth.

"Lovely life," needs no thought. We all love our life. Yeah, some surely refuse to accept that, but in the end, all of us are glad that we are human beings, regardless of what we may say to others. We can't lie to ourselves, you know. So, as I always say, Live Life, the Lovely Way.

"But full of lies," that too is an undeniable truth. Verity can't be escaped, and same goes with life. Lies, betrayals, are a part of life. You just have to cope with it. And when you think you can't go on, read the lines above, and try to be cheerful, for life is short, but long enough to do something for yourself and be happy.

Transported

It takes her away, so far from me,
The distance grows vast, larger than memories,
Bleakly everything else, goes so wan and pale,
Without her each & every breath of mine seems stale,
I can just stare & cry, for my lack of power over it,
Trying to gather my shattered heart and weakly stand on my feet,
I can't go on then, just fall in a heap with a sigh,
Only answer I want today is, why oh why,
Does it take her away, so far from me,
The distance growing vast, larger than memories.

Sudhu Tumi

Amar kono dosh nei, tobu ami doshi,
Karon ami mone prane sudhu tomaye bhalobashi,
Ami tomake chayina harate, sudhu tomake kachhe rakhte chayi,
Jekhaneyi jao nah tumi jekhaneyi palao, tomay nijer banaboi,
Moner ei torongo toh kokhono ami chayini jagate,
Bhabini emon ondhokar dekhte pabo kokhono probhate,
Tobu tumi nah diteyi niye gele hridoy, fele amaye ei aseemit adhare,
Mone pore jaye sei sob din tumi thakte sudhuyi amar kachhe,
Hoye bondhu hoye sokhi hoye amar moner nibash sundor nirobe,
Kintu sob sesh hoye gelo keno aajo janina,
Aajo ami bhebe jayi ki bhul chhilo amar eka ondhokare...

My True Story of Heartbreak

And it begins now................... But yet to end....

January...
I love her, I really do,
But whether she knows, I haven't got a clue,
I have fallen for her, in this year new,
Just a while ago, after exams before a days few,
I like her hair, I love her style,
I feel so happy, to see her smile,
The butterflies of new love, come to glow inside me,
A feeling all new again, lingering to be my destiny...

February...
This month's Valentine's Day,
But I can't confess my love yet,
For I don't want to startle her with that fact,
And who knows, if I say I might repent,
I shall just wait, and know her some more,
For I am her sands,
And she is my shore...

March...
She is queer with me sometimes,
The reason why I don't even know,
Except that maybe, just maybe,
My feelings for her she already knows,
The teenage love has begun to flow,
I am losing the patience to wait anymore,
I never am neither was so slow,
Especially for such beauties who I fervidly adore...

April...
Love is not easy, when you have studies to do,
And you know that the girl concerned,
Has maybe at last got the clue,
Tensions rise, it makes you sweat,
And when she doesn't respond to your love,
The more you begin to fret,
I just pray to God, that in the end all is well,
Or I else I will feel like, burning eternally in hell...

May...
Exam times are here,
Which I have never feared,
But fear there is in my mind no doubt,
For I am wondering what she will say,
When I tell her about my love today,
And the terror is gradually taking me away,
To place looking bleak, of rejection & heartbreak without hope,
And she said that's the truth, now I wonder how I will cope...

June...
Holidays going on, started after exams in may,
Away from friends for over two months,
I am missing everyone & her so much I can't say,
These wretched days, when will they end,
I tried to talk to her, times a few,
But the replies were same, nothing new,
She won't be there for me ever, she doesn't want to,
Vanquished in love again, I don't know now what to do...

July...
Back to old life, but everything has changed,
Everyone is asunder now, she and all my friends,
Ostracized and alone, here I lie,
The truth refuses to sink in,
That she will never be mine,
Not even as a friend, let alone a lover,
But the feelings refuse to go,
Stuck like forever, in my heart they hover...

August...
We talk almost no more now,
Who started this silence I don't know,
But I am hurt, she isn't even a friend,
And every time I see her, the pain has to grow,
Sufferings in life, for flimsy reasons like this,
Is now seeming immature, but still gives me bliss,
I can't stop thinking of her these days,
And the love so deadly, is still refusing to go away...

September...
The love was going away,
But has returned again stronger,
Oh however much I try to forget her,
In my heart she is always there to linger,
Save me someone,
I don't want to love her anymore,
Save me my dear God,
Save me from loving this one last time...

October...
Exams again soon,
It's been so many days,
I think now I finally know,
For her only I had lost my way,
Time to reverse time,
And make everything alright,
To fix all between me and all,
At least try with all my might...

November...
She is in front of me this moment,
But I forbid my mind to bulge,
My heart tries in vain to forment,
Me to her again as before love,
It's time I feel free,
To sustain and survive,
The eyes are now down on the writing,
Instead of on her as they used to lie...

December...
I know all the gloom will end one day,
All the memories will fade,
All the holes I had felt in pain,
Will be fine, and I hope not remade...

Presently After An Year...
Everything's fine now, had to be someday,
Life goes on to the future, leaving no other way,
I am moving on too, to a future pristine & all new,
The love has realized it's importance,
And those who don't want it, don't get it these days,
I am waiting still, for someone to care for me,
But she won't be that, that I at last know truly,
And I am content with that, for I know the quietus will be well with me...

Anewed

The world becomes new each day,
But we the fools remain old,
We always think that we are perfect,
In the illusion that old is gold...

The world becomes new each day,
But we prefer to remain in yesterday,
Afraid to confront the winds of today,
Hoping in vain for yesterday's sun to give today's hay...

The world becomes new each day,
Still we keep on getting bored,
Oblivious to all the treasured buried of past,
In its soil so perfectly stored...

The world becomes new each day,
It doesn't care whether we evolve with it or not,
It keeps on growing, enriched & mightier,
We are just specks not worth a thought...

The world becomes new each day,
But we will remain old,
Engrossed in useless thoughts & orthodox beliefs,
Until the remnants of our being grow cold...

The world becomes new each day,
And it will continue to do so,
We live to be born, we will be killed,
But the world will never cease to flow...

The world becomes new each day,
And each day hence is a melody,
For jollies new and glee, oh fool!
So why not make it your destiny?

The world becomes new each day,
And can't we become too?
Forgetting the past, dwelling in the present,
Marking the beginning of an era new...

The world becomes new each day,
So come and take rebirth,
Relive the world, its glorious new days,
Right from where everything must start...

The world becomes new each day,
And tomorrow I will become a new soul too,
And you too can relinquish your past sorrows,
For the decision today, is just upto you...

Changing Your Thinking

I have been thinking for some days, that the society needs to change. I know that's not a new thing. Many people say that everyday all over the world. So I didn't say anything new or innovative. But the thing is, although so many people think this, there haven't been any change over the past years. Sure you will say, there have been lots. And many examples too can be provided by you. But in the end, you too will have to agree, our own perceptions and beliefs, are still the same as was with our forefathers, going from generation to generation, unscathed. These principles were taught to us by our parents and grandparents, since when we were children, and consequently we came to the belief that those were of our own, as we forgot that we were in verity told about them.

In today's world, most people who even try to venture out of the flow of the social orthodox thinking, are termed as mad, abnormal, or pretty much anything that is vilifying to them. The definition of this thing: madness, remains the same as was a hundred years ago. And I am not talking about mentally unbalanced conditions here,  that's not my specialty. I am talking about the instances when someone does something even an ordinary thing but in an out of the ordinary way, he is called mad. As simple as that. We don't even think. Just one thought occurs, it's not in accordance with the general social standard, right?? So, his screw is loose. He has mental problems. Going to save the world alone. And off we are, laughing. Little do we realize that from their perception, they are geniuses(may truly be) and we are mad.

There are many such views which need to be dealt with. But the poignant truth is, that no one advances to do so(not even me). And with this note, I accept this is abrupt, and still, I will have to take your leave.

Inspired

Today I was sitting in college(gloomy as usual) & suddenly got inspired by seeing some birds flying outside through the window... Watched them for an hour & wrote this...

The way they fly,
The way they glide,
The way they sway,
In the heat of May,
The way they soar,
Worth encore,
The way they are free,
Wish I too could be...

I want to be like them,
I can truly be me,
I can reach the zenith,
Mingle with my destiny,
Like the denizens of the sky,
I can reach the clouds,
I can untangle my soul,
From this wretched world so loud,
And fly away placidly in solitude...

So take me oh take me to the heavens above,
Where I can silently merge with those angels of God,
Flying alone in swarms vast for eternity,
Take me oh take me to the heavens of almighty,
Where I will be free at last, like the birds I see...

Embracing Insanity

For a moment I find myself surrounded by blindness,
All black where nothing can ever be deciphered,
I realize moments later, that moments in this world last forever,
Where you can never let go of the laughs and your sobs will never be heard,
However you may cry, however you may try,
No one will listen to what you say, as long as you are true from heart,
People here just know how to laugh,
To laugh at other's strife, to laugh at other's smile,
They just don't know when to stop and take a breath,
They have only learnt to deny each other the value of their own existence,
They populate the empty world, like weeds growing endless,
And their world, the world loses itself gradually to me,
Gracing me with it's essential presence so lethal,
Madness of a few moments soon becomes destiny,
I find peace to be insane, oh my, sanity is so brutal,
Lethal, and heart tearing, crushing all that exists today,
But when I am mad, no one can blame me, I do anything,
And will be lost just by stupid laughs from stupider people,
Obviously oblivious to the world around,
Who think themselves as clever as much insane they are,
And end up laughing at me going insane,
When they should laugh at themselves for mad they are too,
To live in that world by my side, where I am happier embracing insanity.

The Name

Kindly don't deny me a glimpse of you,

Azure you are, sweeter than even the dew,
Jest I not, love you I really do,
After all, or else I wouldn't be writing this for you,
Rear you my senses, within the deep of your eyes,
I can feel my desires surging, for you only they rise,
Seeing my plight even my soul makes fun of me,
Envy I him who would be tangled with your destiny,
No one is that I hope, except only me,
Great feats for I can decline to make you be with me,
Useless my love is, because I can't tell you my feelings yet,
Portray I may them though now, before it becomes too late,
Time is running fast, and if you become mine,
Ask yourself, you will know how much it will be divine,
Instead of being just friends, so much more we can be,
Living together for us, and to make a new history,
Or maybe just be with each other forever,
Visions are endless you know, to get tarnished never,
Every inside of mine yells to you in vain,
You still never did, and maybe never will understand my pain,
Over my heart through my eyes only my friendship you always see,
Under my skin, beneath my soul, one day you also will feel my heart's melody.

Aimless Life

Nothing to write. Actually that's not true.. Nothing to write which will interest you, is better. But that's an assumption, and it's often(if not always) dangerous to assume. You might be interested in what I have to say after all, or else you wouldn't still be reading this.(this is also assumed, so better stop fretting about your interest and read what I have to say anyways).
So where was I? Oh yeah, I hadn't even begun. What I wanted to write today is... is... God... this is tough. You think you have so much to say. Then you sit to write, and you can;t write anything at all because everything, every feeling, just refuse to come out. Incredible!! I really owe an apology for not writing anything worthwhile at all till now. But I won't be dishonest. So listen, I assure you that whatever follows will not be of any use to you whatsoever, I recommend you stop reading this now rather than being angry on me for writing nothing in the end.
Still I am writing this. You know why? Because I believe that at least one of you out there will be glad to read my feelings, just because I have chosen to share them instead of silently burying them in my heart.And here it begins: what begins? This isn't the start of a story. It's thought. And thoughts neither ever begin nor end.So I will just type whatever is in my mind right now.
What is the aim of my life?? I know you must be wondering why there's a question mark in the end. I myself wonder too. I mean, I ought to know what's my aim. Okay, forget life. What is my aim for tomorrow atleast?? Do I know?? Sadly, I don't. Or maybe I do, deep in the realm of the subconscious mind, but I haven't realized it yet. Whatever that is supposed to mean, the epitome is that I don't know what I want from life tomorrow. I don't know what I want to happen so that I will be content that even though a day in my life was lessened, I gained something. But even if I myself don't know my wishes, how can I expect the almighty to fulfill them? So I am going to sit(or lie) and think about it for a while, what I want to happen tomorrow. In vivid detail. For they say, imagination and visualization can make the universe biased to your good luck. Such is the power of thinking. So bye for now.
NOTE: It's been about two hours since I typed this in my phone, and now after a lot of thought, I have a somewhat vague(yet vague is better than nothing) picture of the perfect & ideal tomorrow in my mind. Sorry but I can't share that yet. It's detailed, it's long, and it's part of my personal life(although that's a flimsy excuse, I always share everything with my friends). So Good Night. Let's see how the real day works out tomorrow compared to my imagined one.

Smile Even If You Don't Have A Reason

Sometimes you can't laugh, just wander in the rain,
Sometimes your tears flow endlessly again and again,
Life makes you fall, so cruelly & harshly.
Still you have to get up, bearing all so roughly,
For life has ups and downs, like nature's various seasons,
But you can smile with me now even if you don't have a reason.

Cheerful you want to be, but opposite is your plight,
You want to be hopeful, but the future doesn't look bright,
You wish that you could laugh a bit, but can't for sadness has creeped,
For till today, everyday, each day of life, only gloom you have reaped,
Because life has ups and downs, like nature's various seasons,
Still you can smile with me now even if you don't have a reason.

Nights come, followed by days, followed by nights again,
You wonder when this life will end, you will get peace some plain,
Your heart is now wretched, it beats for no reason,
Every single time it has loved, it has got nothing only treason,
But you should know life has ups and downs, like nature's various seasons,
So come smile with me now even if you don't have a reason.

Tomorrow maybe ugly, but so may be today, and if you think truly, so was yesterday,
Now believe what I say dear, I lie not to you,
Everyday, you are no doubt going to get difficulties new,
So forget the old ones, there are many more always in queue,
Just remember your life always has ups and downs, like nature's various seasons,
Still you can always smile with me even if you don't have a reason.

Yes, sadly, sadness never ends, but so doesn't hope,
In every tough road God puts you through, just give a smile and cope,
If the goal is unattained, it may be a while,
But it will surely come, so just give a smile,
For life has ups and downs, like nature's various seasons,
So just smile with me now even if you don't have a reason.

Blank Spaces

Emptiness, filling all the space within me,
Feeling hollow, yet no space left to cry,
Every time, I thought, she can't be mine,
Still every time, in vain, I gave it a try,
And every time, my heart, got broken apart,
We were thrown afar, and my love had a new start,
Again and again, the story repeated,
I tried to smile, but the tears were dearer,
Whenever I felt joy come nearer,
The darkness swept over, engulfing all the joys,
Leaving grief, for me to bear alone,
Without having anyone by my side, ever till today,
I stare at the sky, chiding myself for the love,
Which I know I deserve, but which is still undeserved,
This will go on as long, as I keep writing today,
Whatever happens, I won't stop now,
For the blank between each space,
Residing between my words, take me to her,
As I keep writing everyday, she refuses,
To accept me, and I am thrown away, this time alone,
For despondency, slow but steady, keeps paving its way,
Trying to fill the blank spaces, existing within the words,
Still I try to shake it all, and continue on my journey,
To erase all gloom from the spaces, and fill the blank in my life with love...

My Heart For You

When I have nothing to do, yet the mind feels new,
I sit down with a quill, and scribble out my heart for you,
The wind passes by fiercely, like the breath of the Gods,
But I can never move, for I am immersed in your thoughts,
The water rises over me, devouring me in my whole,
Still I sit here writing, loving you with all my soul,
The fire burns me into ashes, leaving just my heart,
The love for you though, it can never from it tear apart,
These words might seem meaningless, for you love me not,
For me yet, these are gold, costlier than the earth,
Heavier then the sea, mightier than the glow,
Residing in my hovel of love, each letters embedded in snow,
Maybe one day you will know, the plight I am in this place,
With my heart lost to you, and nothing to give me solace,
I cry each day, for the distress you unknowingly give,
With tears flowing down, each letters here I weave,
Still there exists a feeling of joy, an aura of hope, a speck of glee,
That maybe I will know you more some day, just maybe, you will be destiny,
But as of now, the same story round and round,
The love for you everyday strengthened and found,
With this I go now, to return another day,
For the wind, the water, and the fire to make way.

Decide Now

Many times we want to do something and end up doing another. There's many reason that this happens. Sometimes it's peer pressure, parents, or sometimes it's pure hesitation, what will they think?? Is it right?? Who am I to do this?? And this type of low self esteemed thinking, according to me, is the best cause for the worst things happening to someone, either in the materialistic or in the spiritual world.

Making a decision is important, and it's equally important to stick to it. We most of the time take a decision, and bury it within our hearts. A very bad thing to do. When you decide on a thing, follow it, whatever others may think. You think, you do, what others say don't matter at all, so to hell with them. Got it??

Now, another thing is that we worry if we end up being in a worse position from where we started if we follow our heart. No need to worry about that. If that happens, it will be solely due to your decision, and you cannot blame anyone else. Instead, you will learn to improve next time and think something better or more suitable. So think about it today, and do it now, keeping no one in account but your heart and mind. Think about what others think, and you will be helping others to achieve their goal, not yourself. Do it, NOW....

For they say, a bad decision today, is better than a good decision tomorrow......

Live Today

We are happy today, for a moment of glee,
Forgetting tomorrow, change will be our destiny,
We might be better, we might be lost,
But tomorrow is to reveal that, so why not live today,
With no fear, no worries, no need of any kind,
Just a smile, and with all we have,
Be naive, relax, the world ends not today,
We have worried till date, so what has it given except cries?

You were born with tears, then joy swooped down,
But as you grew up it was swallowed,
By the dark times in your mind,
For the perspective matters, there's nothing like bad,
But how can you believe that, when you were taught else,
Since birth, since the tears, since the lost joy descended?

You thought you were everything,
Your demands were the sole,
But elders taught you better,
And think about all,
Alas, it's true, you should do for others too,
But didn't they teach you, that you are something too?

We must learn to live today,
Before trying to think whether we will die t'morrow,
The change is what is needed, not in the  world,
But in us, our mind, our soul, in we,
Fail we may, try again,
For isn't living today in hell, better than tomorrow's dream of Heaven?

Dream 12th July

Yesterday I had an interesting dream. I dreamed that my college had reopened(it's opening on 21st), but only about 4 or 5 students of my class had come on the first day!!! And they too were whining about having to come. That's weird, because in reality most of the about 60 students in my class like to come regularly. Anyways, then I saw there was a test to be conducted a week after. Everyone got so tensed. It's a different feeling in your dream. You feel that you are flying, and there are no worries, even in the tensest of moments.But there was a good news. Students of Science courses had been exempted because there wasn't much time for us to prepare our syllabus. I was so happy.

Then my dream transitioned to a place near my old School, in front of Iskon Temple in Kailash Hills. I saw a group of bullies approaching me, and they tried to provoke me into a fight. But instead of being enraged, I tackled them diplomatically and made my way out. Pretty much consistent with my actual nature(hell yes, it was me dreaming right?). Then while walking, you know the feeling, flying away, and put on another place.

Well, after many many months, I saw someone in my dream, an old friend(:D :D you got it right). She was standing a bit distant. I could see her, but she couldn't see or hear me. So gloomily, I made my way back through a path which had sprang right next to me. And in the end of that was a nice cafe, with white tables and chairs, like in parks, outside, and near one of them was my friend standing, smiling to me. Then it all went black.

Then I woke up. An hour before.

The Unknown Feeling

I want to clear one thing first. This unknown feeling is no way about that damn love. I understand when I'm in love pretty well. So get rid of your misconceptions this moment only if you have.

Now, I don't really understand(obvious from the topic), I mean, I had had nothing to do much in these holidays, and so, as with everyone else, I did get bored. But simultaneously, I had some strange sensations. Something was changing. Some thingS were changing. I didn't understand what, haven't. But still, something is. Hope I will reveal myself to me soon. Till then, I am just left wondering, why I have been feeling so different these days??

A Note About Life

In this world, most of us care too much about too many things, uselessly. We think about people for whom we don't matter, we think about what others think although they aren't thinking about us at all, and we are always worrying about what happened and what may happen, forgetting the present. Instead of being practical, we think that we are the center of the universe & that everyone is completely obsessed with what we do & say. This is obviously not true, but we fail to understand that, mostly, believing that our lives of the past or future is worth more than the present. I don't know whether it is. And I don't even care, because we must always live in the present.

Lamenting about the past cannot change it. Instead, it helps us if we learn from past mistakes and don't repeat them again. Similarly, speculating wildly & illogically about the future is also isn't worth it, because what happens is bound to happen. Everything which happens in the future is a result of everything happened in the past or the present. The first thing, the past we simply can't change, fullstop. No use thinking about it anymore.

But the present is all upto us. And in the present also, there isn't many things under our control. You can't control whether it's going to rain today, can you?? But definitely the rain will affect the traffic to your work or college or school tomorrow. You understand what I'm getting at?? So, in the present too, the only things we can control is ourselves, namely, our Actions, Words, and Thoughts. These three things are the only responses that we can give to any situation, and when the response is right, the result desired is automatically got. For example, if it rains today, although you can't stop it, you can ensure that you have an umbrella if you go out today, and you leave the house earlier tomorrow in case the rain has lashed some trees on the roads or dug up some holes blocking the way. Whatever happens to you, therefore, is & will be the result of your own actions and words, so never blame others for anything.

We must always live according to what we want, not according to what others want, but sadly, very few of us actually do so. And if we make blunders or fail, the blame is also only on us. Not on God, not on our friends, not on our parents, just us. It's your life. You were in control. You messed up. But it's surely not the end. You can try again. You can succeed. Learn from your mistakes, learn from others, do it your ways, and see which method works to get your desired result. It's all in the hands of what you think, what you say, what you do.

But we have grown up believing that the world thinks about us, so we do things keeping the world in mind, keeping everything in mind, except ourselves, our gain, our loss, our practical aspect of any action. We seldom think before speaking or doing anything, which results in wrong actions, hurting ourselves and others. If you take care of yourself, everyone will be taken care of accordingly. So, don't worry about what others think & want. Worry about what you think & want. Take care of what you do carefully, for as they say, you take care of the small things, and the big things come into place themselves...

The Path To Heaven

The flowers aromatic immanent to the way,
And the trees swinging in the glittering ray,
And the sky so azure so more than the sea,
And the chirping birds soaring with glee,
Gives us joy for we are walking alone,
On the path to heaven, as we had come...

The pitch black sky and the nocturnal pale moon,
The fragile stars due to falter so soon,
As dawn breaks they will all say goodbye,
But the path to heaven, will still be alive...

We wonder its purpose, it carrying us today,
We wonder why it chose to be that way,
Because it knows not when its destiny may end,
But to be immortal it can't make any amend...

For eternity it has risen never to fall,
Carrying us through times big or small,
Scores of generations have surpassed the narrow strip,
But every man's count the heavens must keep,
Still unknown to all the way has a long way to go,
For we will be alive as long as we know...

The day may come when  it will be used no more,
Untrodden it will lie, in solitude & sore,
Full of pirate weeds in the pavements shining bright,
Long ago it will have lost all its might,
Its glamour will die, like we all are destined,
Ourselves to end, the way we were born...

?????

If you believed, you now know,
If not, then let me show,
That life is not what it always seems,
There are thousand faces of it, many unseen,
The mystery it contains is contained no more,
As soon as you see, that it's always worth an encore,
You may face troubles, you may be ragged,
You may be frightened, you may be sad,
But whatever you feel, just throw it away,
It may be dark today, but tomorrow is on it's way,
It has been for billions of years, but few have known so,
Others just let the days pass, ignorant pretending to know,
Fools they are, without a doubt,
For they haven't still got it, although it's just about,
Happiness lies just around the corner, but they say the world is round,
So happiness is a mirage, never really to be found,
Do you believe that they are right?
Or do you think, it's worth a fight,
To prove them wrong, show them you are happy,
To find that sweet bliss, in any place in any alley,
Life is for living, but you die everyday,
Is this why you were sent amongst the hay,
To share despondence & worry as you grow!
Or do you think you should do something more?
Rest I leave to you, for now I have to take leave,
But as I said, tomorrow, is yet another day to live...
Be happy everyone... :-)

Not So Lovely Life

P.S. Also read the first letter of each line...

Misty minglings within a meaningless world,
Yearnings endless and dreams unfurled,
Look up to the sky, what do you see?
Other than sorrows & miseries in your destiny?
Venting themselves through the rains from the cloud,
Ending the tryst of ages so proud,
In even thunders & roars deep within you can feel,
So many tears flowing with the water of steel,
Making your heart pierce with each blow,
You have lost that joy, which has ceased to glow,
Long ago, when you felt that love first time,
In your heart but it wasn't worth a dime,
Frail you lay now, waiting for the tomorrow,
Everyday still, you have to look back at the day,
Whether you are strong, you don't yet know,
Had you been, would you have let her go?
Inch by inch you wander around,
Covering your trails by your gloom profound,
Having faith still in the love you had shown,
If only you knew that it's essence would never be known,
So bleak and big this world is for all,
Obviously then no one cares for your fall,
Now get up and walk, for you have a long way to go,
Leave your sorrows, today by that meadow,
You can burn all, you can rise above the sky,
You can tear the bindings, yes you can fly,
Or will you prefer still to lay?
Uselessly waiting for her to come you way...

Nearer Than Me

We grow asunder day by day,
Never realizing the distance creeping it's way,
Your impalpable lucid eyes glitter impeccably ,
When I spuriously dream of you, night and day,
You gleam each night, in my dreams,
I try to reach you, just out of my way,
But you give a sly smile & run away,
Leaving me in my ignominious loneliness,
I try not go far, make the space ajar,
But all the time the separation so strong,
Making the meetings of moments & waits so long,
Lasting eternally in a span of a jiffy...


Longing never ends, once I believed,
But of that be'lie'f has only remained the lie,
I know now that the people in our hearts change,
That the love once evergreen does die & is born again,
I search everyday for such love,
And do end up falling in it too,
But truth is sure to dawn in the end,
That life in itself sometimes ceases to love you,
And you remain alone, writing like me,
Wishing that someday, you will read it too...


That day may bring you nearer to me,
Nearer to life, nearer than me,
I just pray to the almighty that I live to see that day,
When all will be lost & we will ignite into one,
The love will be impalpable, the lust so serene,
You will know someday maybe,
What to me you mean,
Till then for another day, I beg to take your leave,
Take care, oh my hearty soul, till I rise again tomorrow, only for you...

Thoughts

Love me today, like I was never loved before,
Leave the tears, to be flown away ashore...

Burn the lies, so the truth may find way again,
And bind us together forever with the falling rain...

Bring back the memories, igniting my life,
Make my time stop with you, ending all my strife...

Let the feelings flow, to a place where none has gone,
For we will be the first there, ever since the sun has shone...

Relish my scent with me, and let me be you,
This time it may feel different, but it won't certainly be new...

Feel the sea of passion, surging beneath your heart,
Trying to break you for me, right from the start...

You may run away, but you can't never hide,
You cannot ignore all the nights, in which for you I have cried...

I have striven to make you mine, and mine you shall be,
Even if we are aloof today, tomorrow you will be with me...

The songs of my lyre will take away all your nights,
We will be flying together, higher than the kites...

Our destinies are entwined, you will very well know,
When one day with me, you too will have to go...

Your essence surely in strong, but my love is stronger,
And we both know my dear, which can survive longer...

So live by me today, and I will spend the eternity with you,
Or let me go away from my life, that my love is none but you...

Come Fall In Love With Me

Endless hours without you pass away each night,

I lie wide awake, craving a moment of love from you,

Maybe you know not my heart, maybe you know not my plight,

But I do know what I want from life, and that my love, is only you...

Endless hours without you pass away each day,

I walk the streets, but alone without you,

In the glittering sunshine I lose all my past away,

Yet it reminds me of those moments, meant to be spent only with you...

Endless hours of life fly by,

Leaving me stranded with your mirage in trance,

Still I wish you will one day say goodbye,

To all our distance & be mine for once...

I was born to be yours, and will be nevertheless,

No matter what fate may have in it for me,

I don't care as I never have, for every time you leave me breathless,

I know I have my love for you, and that will always be enough for me...

Your indifference makes no difference to what I feel,

To the blessing of love, my love for you,

My eternal pain sans you only you can heal,

So please make me live again, for I have many times died for you...

I won't steal you away from you,

I just want to give you glee,

I promise to never be far from you,

If you and me someday become we...

I love you so deep, I love you & your love,

But you don't seem to know what you mean to me,

You too will realize your soul, and make me realize mine,

So just for once, come & fall in love with me...

The Name

Mistakes on my part are none but few,
Although they always keep on appearing anew,
Having broken my heart again & again,
And keeping me in your memories but in vain,
Swiftly taking all my peace away,
Where they go I don't know even today,
Eagerly I try to amend them every time,
To undo their harm, and to make you mine,
As I love you more than the world can know,
Cheering with you to any place I may go,
Having you by my side, I can make every impossible possible,
As long as the distance from you can keep me sane,
Tomorrow what happens, I will never care,
Trust me, if you by me will always be there,
Eerie they seem, the nights that are dark,
Reaping inside them secrets, who knows what in them lurk,
Jeer they a lot, making me insane,
Every time I feel I may never see you again,
Each day passes, making your absence more grave,
I deceit you not, please don't think me as knave,
Leaving you I can never actually live,
Over & over, I want you to forgive,
Vast is my heart, deeper than the sea,
Easily so my feelings, you can no doubt see,
You don't know why I wrote this for you right?
Of course, these types of poems came never in your sight,
Until this moment, when you will finally know,
That this is just the beginning, and the ending of all the sorrow.

Returning From The Crossing

I never thought life would turn around,
To face the one I thought had left long ago,
To see you who brought me the feeling of first love around,
When we had been together for a short time, very long ago...

I had cherished the time spent with you each day,
Sitting with you for hours that passed too quickly,
Until our paths diverged and took us away,
And we too followed them quite blindly...

Today after so many years when we met,
It felt too good to be true again,
And no wonder my eyes got so wet,
As tears flowed abounter than the rain...

I lived again, although had been breathing for long,
The gaps of all the time closing in moments but a few,
I at last reckoned that I had been wrong,
I lamented that I should have always expressed my love to you...

I couldn't believe our lives had crossed this way,
And can't believe it till this moment too,
That when I said too you what I had always wanted to say,
You said you had always wanted to say that too...

I want to leave this crossing today,
Leaving you so that I could get back to the past,
So that I wouldn't have to leave you anyway,
Then today would never arrive so fast...

I really wish to return to those days again,

When our paths shared the same lane,

The time when there was happiness and no pain,

But I can't, and now nothing but memories remain...