Latent Lover

Wrote this just now, dedicated to someone, someone mine, someone I don't know, don't know if I'll ever know even... But still, one can always have an unknown lover of their dreams they don't know, right? Or at least, I can...

You hide from me, even in my dreams,
Leaving me in the doubt, do you even exist?
But then I ask myself as always I do,
If you didn't, how could you  hide from me in my dreams?

Every time I search for the signs,
In every girl I see is it you?
Wondering if I will ever get to you in time,
Scared if I can't, how will I live alone forever?

Travelling around the worlds and universes in my mind,
When I fail to find you, does it hurt?
I know not the reply, neither do I want to know,
I just crave one answer to, where are you my lover?

Melodies of gloom settle in now and then,
Though is it any good being in grief?
I think to myself and smile wryly again,
After all, isn't it hope that makes a man meet his love?

The days end and days begin of search,
Back in my mind I think what if I'm wrong?
Then realize promptly what I always forget,
That if you didn't exist, how could you hide from me?

While I Go

I wrote this one while sitting in a metro going to meet some friends and as I had nothing to do, I scribbled this hastily in my phone... It's not too good, but still I would like to share this...

Sitting on my way, on a bright subway,
Scores of faces around, some vigilant some silent & sound,
I look all around me, wondering what's their destiny,
And whether they have noticed me too, or at each other in secret ways all new,
As places come and places go, I suddenly realize that I should know,
New faces arrive and the old ones depart, just like the course of nature since its start,
I look around again, wanting to know about all of them in vain,
Still some are stylish, some plain, some erudite, some diffident and uncertain,
Some listening to music softly and slowly, some a little louder sharing melody,
And time passes by oblivious to all, as I realize that I must go,
For my destiny has come, shared with some having the same as me,
Some not so, who I wish could see where they want to be,
But alas, as I said , I must go, leaving them behind, for another time, another day,
Another train, and another way, with an ending unaccounted, ending today.

Wasted Moments

I opened my blog just now and realized that today it's been exactly four months since my last poem... Was I really so busy?? The time seems to have just flown at lightening speed, and I am now almost halfway through the year without even noticing that... Keeping the jitters of my mind apart, I thought I could do with a new poem tonight... After all, my exams have ended, and there is a two month long holiday before me with nothing much eventful in schedule... I don't expect many to  understand this one, I just expect me to do so...

Time has gone by, nothing new I say

But its passing is different for each man

I realize sitting on this seventeenth of May.

Experiences altered, and altercating between the mind and its state

Many times leave us wondering our past happenings

Allowing us to choose, the lie that all was fate.

They come flooding to my senses, taking my current away

Browsing the memory and its reasons in its own

Although my mind refuses my reluctance to remember today.

What I did I cannot change, these needless thoughts still persist

The past coming to haunt time and again all the time

However I may faint, trying hopelessly to resist.

The days were the same, the seconds were shared

For me and everyone around I know, but the surroundings

Were different, for those who failed, from those who dared.

Those things and their days I want to forget forever

And I fail to find out how I remember especially them in detail

But remember I do, still haunted day and night, lost now waiting for that never.

Am I sane? I ask myself again, as I realize again I have lost my moment

Losing my mind and body to the control of that something unexplained

Thinking about things only supposed to be of torment.

I answer myself, faltering and pausing, of course I say

I'm alright to me, at the same time know although I

That so many I's talking to me, in itself means I have never been okay.

Dream 2nd May

Had yet another epic dream yesterday... It's been hours since I woke up, but that exotic feeling has still not completely left me... It was so long, and detailed... But sadly, as always, I don't remember much right now... Still the little bits and pieces which are still stored in my memory, I am going to transfer to this post...

The dream started with me travelling hundred years into the future and learning many things about life and society of that day from an older person I had befriended- I'm not sure if it was the grown up self of me only... Anyways, then I began to fret that how will I return to the past which is actually my present time, as the thing which had brought to the present(actually future) could work one way only... The surrounding became milder with lots of sand and free space and a very few buildings... I noticed a truck and Voila! Inside it was a person claiming to take me home, my real home in my real time... He went by a little long way and asked me to sit behind as if I sat with him, my enemies would have a very hard time, so he claimed...

While deboarding, he warned me to be prepared for a little rebuke from my mother as it had been two days I was in the future and that time interval had been equally manifested in present too(my real present)... Then he vanished. I went inside my house preparing some excuse and realizing that he was someone divine who had come to my rescue... My mother didn't need any excuse, she didn't even ask me where I was, she behaved so normally, then... TRANSITION...

Sitting with my college friends on a ground I went to with my school friends... What a mess!! All kinds of people were there... I don't remember any conversations, but I remember that I was a little changed and was thinking of what I learnt in the future... I would love to experience more of that dream but my Dad called and broke it... It was 9'o Clock!! Sigh, time to wake up and study, it's exam time... -_^