Friends

I am alone sometimes, but I never want to feel lonely,
Regardless of all the lovely lies of life, regardless of what I know surely,
They try to drive me away, from all as I know,
The world has other places for me they say, where I should go,
But I linger with those wretched souls, friends the name known they are by,
For from my heart at least I have known them to be mine, though from theirs I'm just an alibi,
Some know me real, some haven't ever tried,
Some feel sorry that I laugh too much, some know about all the nights I have cried,
They betray their love as finely as hate, and I am perplexed as to whether I want to be,
With them on the landscape best enjoyed solely by me,
If they are worth sharing the joy, even if I am worth being tolerated by their sanity,
I care not for the answer though this present moment verily,
All I care for, is that I am with others instead of being lonely,
Misty skies wonder what my plight is, why I am thinking the way I write,
I ignore their queries, anything they ask, I can just not heed, unable to match their sight,
Because I have answers to none, of the what's and why's,
But as always I declare, I don't care, I don't care that you think I'm not nice,
Misunderstandings of cold torture are none, both sides know I know,
Still they creep in slow and steady, for the seeds of endurance, I had not got time to sow,
I love my friends, they're all I care for today, and I know they feel the same too,
Or maybe not, but who am I to say?
Whatever happens, I realize time an again, today I live, and tonight I may die,
Whatever happens, I realize time and again, I will always know I took time to try,
So when people ask me today why I am still not alone, I say, I don't want to be lonely,
Even if it means a few sporadic moments, when I am left just there to be alone only.

Wanderer

You look to me, I smile,

I wonder, if I still feel you as mine,

You want me too, but yourself haven't known,

So want me to hate you, all the love stown,

I too look at you, searching for a smile,

I fail to find it, only tears like the flood of Nile,

I wonder the reason, what makes you this gloom,

In this onset of spring, when all the flowers bloom,

Why you lie pristine, lost in your soul,

Untouched by mine, rendering me a solitary prowl,

We are so same, but you think we are not,

Or are confused just as me, thinking what you should not,

We are so free, to fly and fall,

I want us to do that together, that's just all,

But you listen not to even this plea of mine,

Alone and alone only you want to shine,

Sans me, sans my love, sans even any hope lying for me,

You won't you have decided, will ever think of me as destiny,

How confused you are, oh my dear even you don't see,

Blind to my heart open for you, willing to make you completely free,

Confused wanderer I am too, lost in my world of imagine,

Because of having that world in real, is a chance you have made too much thin,

I will go on and on, lost in my own in my world also own,

Lost without you only with my soul, that too alone,

Lost I will be and happy in losing you,

For if that is so destiny itself wants this, it's nothing new,

I will accept without wonder gleefully, all the pain you will give,

You may have left me on my own today, but in my dreams I will never let you leave.

The Name

I look in vain, to the falling locks,
Living beside your eyes in shining flocks,
Over the days so much distant you grow,
Vile my desires are sometimes, me being human you know,
Everything about you are alluring from your nose to toes,
You look so perfect to me even God forever knows,
On my heart how I wonder so indelibly you are imprinted,
Uselessly I try to fight to have this feeling lifted,
Purer becomes my love for you each day,
All kindled by your beauty, your edolence & what you say,
Razed I am left, feeling all along unsure at the same,
Up into being prudent, what if my feelings you find verily lame,
Love is not just anything, you yourself acknowledge so,
Grief is all all have, when they find the unright soulmate with to go,
Under all doubts prodigally spent, I would so like you to find,
Paler however my heart may get, only you will be on my mind,
Tomorrow the world may die, but my love will still burn alive,
At each moment of distress & pain, to keep you happy only will I strive.

A Glance

I saw my life yesterday,
She was walking on the road,
I don't know whether she looked at me, but surely looked away,
As if  I was an ugly toad,
I saw my life yesterday after long,
Still I am alive like I was living,
So why did she still give me butterflies?
She isn't the only reason I'm thriving,
But I doubt not, that she's one of them all the same,
Why I live, not only for her,
But she's among the things,
I would surely die for,
What I feel for her I don't know these days,
It has been so long,
I still love her like I used to do,
Or have I actually moved on?
I don't know, I wish I would,
At least some revelations this mysterious life should make,
Everything seems so clandestine these days,
So many dead leaves heaped on the truth left to rake,
A moment is too short to meet again,
And when the banks are asunder who needs a link?
Ignoramus when we are separated long ago,
There's no point now trying to straighten any old kink,
Past is past, it was never meant to be the future,
I should have known that long ago,
If verity had lifted its veil before,
I would not have suffered such a decrepiting blow,
Today she is happy, that's all I need,
And that's all I will ever need to be glad,
What of me, I am dispensable,
Lost in this lovely life, and forever mad.

Why Can't I?

Why can't I remember you anymore?
Like I used to do on those lonely sleepless nights,
Why can't I think of you anymore?
Like I used to when I had nothing left but lonely sighs,
Why can't I love you anymore?
Like I used to do with all my heart till a few days ago,
Why can't I dream of you every night anymore?
Like I used to do when you were all I had to know,
Why can't I feel your breath to be mine anymore?
Like I used to do when you ran merrily past all,
Why can't I feel your heartbeats to be the same as mine anymore?
Like I used to feel when my heart pumped so fast when I saw you in the fall,
Why can't I run to you anymore?
Like a lost puppy following your redolence,
Why can't I speak to you anymore,
Like I used to do so desperately those days,
Why can't I write for you anymore,
Like I used to every moment garnering my love for you,
.....

CAN ANYONE SUGGEST A SUITABLE ENDING OR CONTINUATION?? I am just stuck here.............

Story of A Fallen Angel

I am just sinking, gasping for air, wry, dry, drenched, lost, and immersed eternally, in the nectar of pure untainted darkness, so sweet, so serene, so beautiful, so soothing, so... So fatal... Take me out of this... I feel lonely here without you, and it feels even lonelier when you are around... Now, I can't see any road ahead, just scrounging for some path like some lost vagabond. Everything is blurry... Just darkness, the sound of my heart throbbing for air, dying, slowly, craving for each single atom of air to keep its feeble beats ignited for even a paucity of time. It isn't going to keep me alive for long.. For in this ocean of ignominious sorrow, my own wails are clenching my neck like vile gigantic pincers... The depraved dark water looks unto me, laughing in itself at my pitiable plight... Laughing on my loveless penury... But I am still trying to stay alive with my faltering breaths, so steadily diminishing in intensity, to think, to tell the world my last words before the boundaries between me and this ashened sea cease to exist...

I wanted to make you my life... You refused to even be a part of it... The distance between us now is too vast... Our minds are so far asunder, it can never, ever, ever, decrease now... And the person to blame for that, is none but only me... Me, the protagonist of my poignant tale, me, the felon, me, the lost lover, me, the ruler, me, the vanquished... Me, the fallen angel, waiting to be reborn... Waiting for my wings to regrow looking upwards to heaven, so that I can fly high to my zenith once more to you, to try this fallible life once again, and this hope, this shimmering hope, will keep my soul alive till I am resurrected... Till then, this fallen angel will lie here in a bed of ruins... Waiting... Waiting... And waiting...

And now I can't speak anymore, the lights of my existence are blinking out altogether... I can't go on... But I will... I will have to... I and am ready to die here now, to rise again one day, come back from the land of the dead, only to meet my goddess again, only to meet, YOU...

I'm Not Sorry

It maybe a crime to you, to fall for a beautiful damsel,
But to me, it's a bliss, not any matter of shame,
I didn't ask you to retaliate my love ever,
Just asked you to let me love you forever,
I won't apologize now for falling in your love so much,
Neither can you blame me for that as such,
For that's not what you can decide for me,
I met you in my life, and that was my destiny,
So I proudly proclaim today that I am not sorry for loving you at all,
Rather I am glad to have spent a few moments with you however small,
I thought once I had done a folly, and I am wrong,
But then I realized, how can one be wrong,
If love is the residence of everything,
From life to death and everything in between,
It can't be true, that you should not love,
If you think so for me, then what can I do?

I am not sorry, not at all,
I loved you in spring, still love you in this fall,
And I will always do,
No matter, if you don't, and maybe never will return my love for you.