The Convicted Judge

It's been so long, thanks to the paucity of time these days(read months/years)...!! Anyways, this is a new one; Alternate stanzas represent the two alternate egos:

The gavel thumps again, trying to probe an ache in my heart,
As I stand today in public, pent up into myself,
Deploring not foreseeing, this end from the very start,
Wondering whether the means of it, really stand justified.

The convict stands prosaic and spent,
Thankfully not with an act of mercy, hoping to be petitioned in vain,
He still looks younger than the usual us, a courtesy his so called crimes may have lent,
A crime which I remember again, today everyone condemns, but no one commits.

I go back into memories, those days of honesty and gloom,
Everyone was like me, unlike today, when I'm alone,
A weather true, without pretense, sans hypocrisy loomed,
Alas, the fate of mine, now lies with people not human anymore,
But revered morons, who've escaped truth too long to know.

What's he thinking, I ponder as all fall silent?
What has he even done, to be here, in this court of spurious glee,
Except to admit, that he has emotions true,
Like love and hatred, unmasked without any dent?
In a world which has now rendered unlawful,
Ever not smiling, with or without any reason.

I hope no more now, all I have left is my pride,
For I know I am true, and I know the world knows it too,
They're just afraid poor people, afraid to face the hollow, on which their carpets now ride,
Only I am left of the truth, and in a few moments, I won't be there too,
And all that will be left is this peaceful world, with people at war,
With their own selves, unable to come out anymore, unable to howl in pain,
For it is an iniquitous crime now, to feel emotions, and to feel pain.

His innocence is too brilliant, to be condoned by our society of today,
I am a part of the crowd, a puppet with powers, to break free the restraints,
But I choose not to, choosing the easy way, of conforming without thinking, as it hurts,
So I finally happily convict the esoteric ignoramus to death,
And feel the noose I've bestowed to him just now,
Laugh like us all, and tighten around my neck.

On the Otherside

Crying for the first time, today courtesy myself,
I realize this act, whence this scene unveils,
Clandestine and ignoble, marked by maybe spurious remorse,
Outperforms in blackness, all deeds I've authored till date.

There's nothing I can do, except those I don''t want to,
Even as a soul tears before me for me, as I watch helpless,
With tears not mine, tearing the two it sees,
Except staying silent, as unutterables are spoken.

I have failed to value things dear, condoned recognizing a chance of redemption,
Have no other option than to go, seeking amnesia of this dream,
Of pain, of lies, of lust, and heartbreak; and in vain, just gone,
With remnants the worst: a lesson, which wasn't worth learning in hindsight.

Life has taken a new turn, anticipated not in the wildest,
Proving once again, that it has a reason for being this namesake,
And my past flashes before me, which I used to detest,
I so weak wish weakly, to go back there, to better be than the present.

The seeds have now been sown, a monster might as well be growing,
Which gives no shade, bears no fruit, only unluck, as will fall on me,
And my lament does and will continues, unable to grasp the done,
With that faint hope that the bad ending, will present itself after I leave this journey.

Fullmoon

And I ask her sudden, "Why aren't you veiled today?"
She says, "Ask me else, for today I'm honest and true,"
Gloriously above me, calm and sooth,
I wonder in awe, what verity should I want to know,
I ponder and ask, "Then tell me what is love?
The mirage that plagues many, forcing emotions untrue,
Haunting all beings, tell me, I ask you,"
She says, "I know not love, for I've been alone for aeons,"
I get confused, "But I see so many in heavens, shining with you,
Don't they love your beauty, and crave your serenity too?"
Her gaze turns torn, struggling to cry,
I wait, for composure, deploring puppetting the show,
She just smiles wry at last and says,
"I'm nothing but an illusion, lifeless is my real form,
For they who give you life and birth, are who myself I've borrowed from..."

Happy New Year

And, here's another one of my first letter of every line poems...

Wiser left a lot, and leaving this year so soon,
I wait for the new era, of fifty two weeks, of hopeful boon,
Silently mournful, of all the events that have led to memories,
Having all those sorrowful times of detoured destinies,
Yet there were priceless moments too, impalpable in worth,
Often condoned, for I failed to see joy, in bright old days and evening swarth,
Unthanked, they though lingered, balancing the gloom, with as much glee,
And I now on this last day, all facile lessons, can so limpidly see,
Verily experienced, than a self an year younger, ready for future's freight,
Every year, the same thoughts exist, yet the difference, felt in their weight,
Return will I to the beginning again, to a new page for all the days, waiting for their ends,
Year later one, compiled, to form a new chapter, of the book of life God sends,
Hastier than time itself, this waiting patience, now bearing much thinner than brim,
As I assume there's no more to this year, waiting till midnight, another perfunctory whim,
Purely trying to be obdurate, for the last few seconds, being the unreal king,
Painting the canvas left, with water, searching to fill the space, left nowhere within,
Yawning to the lullaby of quietus, felt surreal, just not heard, to sleep,
Now this gets rare, as tomorrow when I wake, I will get a new year to keep,
Envious I will cease to be, of all others, as all will become at par in time,
Where the hourglass will have been flipped, waiting for the sands to chime,
Years later will I I ponder, the same way write and think?
Each year passes, so, will the next too, like each those petaled water, in a restless blink?
And the answer unrevealed now, will inexorably await me after next fall,
Referring to this day of past, when I was wishing, a Happy New Year to all.

Distressed

A sudden day, after awakenment, feeling feeble, I try to rise,
Only to fail, stalled in oblivion, the world turning dark,
And cold, too much to bear, time to pay the price,
Of all my worries, tensions and fear, I had failed to mark,
To be haunted, as in those nightmares soothing, dying,
Losing sanity in a moment, vision of life turned to ashes,
A day off is now here, I can skip yet, I keep on trying,
To wake into proper, to gather myself, as time passes,
Fast and glorious, leaving me behind, as it always has,
I wonder the problem, sudden it just seems,
Lie so many reasons scores, hidden from realization for survival,
They just need a tap, to fall into conscious realms,
And as they unveil, all falls into place, marking my silent age's arrival,
Heeded at last, bound to bind, my soul and body to earth,
Flat on my back, refusing to let me go, even for yet another day,
I close my eyes, losing hope, finally accepting it's the start,
Of a few days of rest, to forget those fears, waiting for me to wash away.

There There

That random poem you write when your classes get cancelled and you're sitting idle in college telling yourself 'there there'(the first letter of each line)...

This freaky moment of hopeless pain,
Hardly felt, so much imbibed inside for long,
Everyday since those first tears, everyday since joy was doomed,
Remedied by the pain, of the fake smile over the wrecked soul,
Eventuality waiting, with the true smirk it holds...

True it's insanity, as practiced by all,
Hating for hypocrisy, so much what we are,
Everyday it continues, refusing quietus, our shame,
Replete to the brim, the lost hope of hope over the tears,
Expecting the very unexpected, that we will freely laugh again...

Little Story

Mind blowing... I mean, padhna mat, mind ghumke sach main kharaab ho jayega... Isse statutory warning samajh lo bas... Par kabhi kabhi ghatiya poems bhi likhni chahiye, or else the great ones, cease to be valued...

A short story of my little love, I will say today,
I was sitting there idle and listening, when I saw her one day,
Looked impeccably common, yet a glow glistened around her,
I had noticed many times before, but never so intently, had I attended her,
All love takes really is a moment I knew, when I that day suddenly saw her...

A short story of my little love, I will say today,
It should've started earlier again, but ended up beginning on May,
I was too busy, sorting out life as I wanted it to be,
Too much of a fool I was to feel, that I can control my destiny,
As soon as it ends, the start is bound, and as they say, there is no end to melody...

A short story of my little love, I will say today,
It hasn't been a while, it hasn't been years, still with her I would want to fervidly stay,
You might think oh again, it's all an old story, worth encore a forget,
I beg to differ, however my friend, for each moment is special, with each person if you let,
The nectar is eternal & hopeful, just waiting to be drunk, like the sun rises everyday, although it's bound to set...

A short story of my little love, I will say today,
She is somewhere in this city, oblivious to in my life, how much her need, this moment is supposed to lay,
I want it this way too, forever hidden, obscured my love, by this veil of reality to be wrapped,
Leaving her as she is, hopping in my memory, as the moon white and far, unable to be trapped,
Just another reason to smile, a thousand time she is, knowing I once saw her, in the very moment cupid tapped...

Now I end the story, accepting it never began, boring life will be as it was, time will keep running, as it has always ran,
I revealed nothing my friends, just a few jumbled thoughts, for the rest of what has happened and will,
Is also unknown to me, I just said whatever I could remember, scrounging through my needs,
In these times perilous, of manipulated life's memories, you will wish I never return, for this hasn't been much of a story,
So sorry this wasn't great, I never promised would be, I just wanted you to know, how much confusing a little love can be...!!