Aimless Life

Nothing to write. Actually that's not true.. Nothing to write which will interest you, is better. But that's an assumption, and it's often(if not always) dangerous to assume. You might be interested in what I have to say after all, or else you wouldn't still be reading this.(this is also assumed, so better stop fretting about your interest and read what I have to say anyways).
So where was I? Oh yeah, I hadn't even begun. What I wanted to write today is... is... God... this is tough. You think you have so much to say. Then you sit to write, and you can;t write anything at all because everything, every feeling, just refuse to come out. Incredible!! I really owe an apology for not writing anything worthwhile at all till now. But I won't be dishonest. So listen, I assure you that whatever follows will not be of any use to you whatsoever, I recommend you stop reading this now rather than being angry on me for writing nothing in the end.
Still I am writing this. You know why? Because I believe that at least one of you out there will be glad to read my feelings, just because I have chosen to share them instead of silently burying them in my heart.And here it begins: what begins? This isn't the start of a story. It's thought. And thoughts neither ever begin nor end.So I will just type whatever is in my mind right now.
What is the aim of my life?? I know you must be wondering why there's a question mark in the end. I myself wonder too. I mean, I ought to know what's my aim. Okay, forget life. What is my aim for tomorrow atleast?? Do I know?? Sadly, I don't. Or maybe I do, deep in the realm of the subconscious mind, but I haven't realized it yet. Whatever that is supposed to mean, the epitome is that I don't know what I want from life tomorrow. I don't know what I want to happen so that I will be content that even though a day in my life was lessened, I gained something. But even if I myself don't know my wishes, how can I expect the almighty to fulfill them? So I am going to sit(or lie) and think about it for a while, what I want to happen tomorrow. In vivid detail. For they say, imagination and visualization can make the universe biased to your good luck. Such is the power of thinking. So bye for now.
NOTE: It's been about two hours since I typed this in my phone, and now after a lot of thought, I have a somewhat vague(yet vague is better than nothing) picture of the perfect & ideal tomorrow in my mind. Sorry but I can't share that yet. It's detailed, it's long, and it's part of my personal life(although that's a flimsy excuse, I always share everything with my friends). So Good Night. Let's see how the real day works out tomorrow compared to my imagined one.

Smile Even If You Don't Have A Reason

Sometimes you can't laugh, just wander in the rain,
Sometimes your tears flow endlessly again and again,
Life makes you fall, so cruelly & harshly.
Still you have to get up, bearing all so roughly,
For life has ups and downs, like nature's various seasons,
But you can smile with me now even if you don't have a reason.

Cheerful you want to be, but opposite is your plight,
You want to be hopeful, but the future doesn't look bright,
You wish that you could laugh a bit, but can't for sadness has creeped,
For till today, everyday, each day of life, only gloom you have reaped,
Because life has ups and downs, like nature's various seasons,
Still you can smile with me now even if you don't have a reason.

Nights come, followed by days, followed by nights again,
You wonder when this life will end, you will get peace some plain,
Your heart is now wretched, it beats for no reason,
Every single time it has loved, it has got nothing only treason,
But you should know life has ups and downs, like nature's various seasons,
So come smile with me now even if you don't have a reason.

Tomorrow maybe ugly, but so may be today, and if you think truly, so was yesterday,
Now believe what I say dear, I lie not to you,
Everyday, you are no doubt going to get difficulties new,
So forget the old ones, there are many more always in queue,
Just remember your life always has ups and downs, like nature's various seasons,
Still you can always smile with me even if you don't have a reason.

Yes, sadly, sadness never ends, but so doesn't hope,
In every tough road God puts you through, just give a smile and cope,
If the goal is unattained, it may be a while,
But it will surely come, so just give a smile,
For life has ups and downs, like nature's various seasons,
So just smile with me now even if you don't have a reason.

Blank Spaces

Emptiness, filling all the space within me,
Feeling hollow, yet no space left to cry,
Every time, I thought, she can't be mine,
Still every time, in vain, I gave it a try,
And every time, my heart, got broken apart,
We were thrown afar, and my love had a new start,
Again and again, the story repeated,
I tried to smile, but the tears were dearer,
Whenever I felt joy come nearer,
The darkness swept over, engulfing all the joys,
Leaving grief, for me to bear alone,
Without having anyone by my side, ever till today,
I stare at the sky, chiding myself for the love,
Which I know I deserve, but which is still undeserved,
This will go on as long, as I keep writing today,
Whatever happens, I won't stop now,
For the blank between each space,
Residing between my words, take me to her,
As I keep writing everyday, she refuses,
To accept me, and I am thrown away, this time alone,
For despondency, slow but steady, keeps paving its way,
Trying to fill the blank spaces, existing within the words,
Still I try to shake it all, and continue on my journey,
To erase all gloom from the spaces, and fill the blank in my life with love...

My Heart For You

When I have nothing to do, yet the mind feels new,
I sit down with a quill, and scribble out my heart for you,
The wind passes by fiercely, like the breath of the Gods,
But I can never move, for I am immersed in your thoughts,
The water rises over me, devouring me in my whole,
Still I sit here writing, loving you with all my soul,
The fire burns me into ashes, leaving just my heart,
The love for you though, it can never from it tear apart,
These words might seem meaningless, for you love me not,
For me yet, these are gold, costlier than the earth,
Heavier then the sea, mightier than the glow,
Residing in my hovel of love, each letters embedded in snow,
Maybe one day you will know, the plight I am in this place,
With my heart lost to you, and nothing to give me solace,
I cry each day, for the distress you unknowingly give,
With tears flowing down, each letters here I weave,
Still there exists a feeling of joy, an aura of hope, a speck of glee,
That maybe I will know you more some day, just maybe, you will be destiny,
But as of now, the same story round and round,
The love for you everyday strengthened and found,
With this I go now, to return another day,
For the wind, the water, and the fire to make way.

Decide Now

Many times we want to do something and end up doing another. There's many reason that this happens. Sometimes it's peer pressure, parents, or sometimes it's pure hesitation, what will they think?? Is it right?? Who am I to do this?? And this type of low self esteemed thinking, according to me, is the best cause for the worst things happening to someone, either in the materialistic or in the spiritual world.

Making a decision is important, and it's equally important to stick to it. We most of the time take a decision, and bury it within our hearts. A very bad thing to do. When you decide on a thing, follow it, whatever others may think. You think, you do, what others say don't matter at all, so to hell with them. Got it??

Now, another thing is that we worry if we end up being in a worse position from where we started if we follow our heart. No need to worry about that. If that happens, it will be solely due to your decision, and you cannot blame anyone else. Instead, you will learn to improve next time and think something better or more suitable. So think about it today, and do it now, keeping no one in account but your heart and mind. Think about what others think, and you will be helping others to achieve their goal, not yourself. Do it, NOW....

For they say, a bad decision today, is better than a good decision tomorrow......

Live Today

We are happy today, for a moment of glee,
Forgetting tomorrow, change will be our destiny,
We might be better, we might be lost,
But tomorrow is to reveal that, so why not live today,
With no fear, no worries, no need of any kind,
Just a smile, and with all we have,
Be naive, relax, the world ends not today,
We have worried till date, so what has it given except cries?

You were born with tears, then joy swooped down,
But as you grew up it was swallowed,
By the dark times in your mind,
For the perspective matters, there's nothing like bad,
But how can you believe that, when you were taught else,
Since birth, since the tears, since the lost joy descended?

You thought you were everything,
Your demands were the sole,
But elders taught you better,
And think about all,
Alas, it's true, you should do for others too,
But didn't they teach you, that you are something too?

We must learn to live today,
Before trying to think whether we will die t'morrow,
The change is what is needed, not in the  world,
But in us, our mind, our soul, in we,
Fail we may, try again,
For isn't living today in hell, better than tomorrow's dream of Heaven?

Dream 12th July

Yesterday I had an interesting dream. I dreamed that my college had reopened(it's opening on 21st), but only about 4 or 5 students of my class had come on the first day!!! And they too were whining about having to come. That's weird, because in reality most of the about 60 students in my class like to come regularly. Anyways, then I saw there was a test to be conducted a week after. Everyone got so tensed. It's a different feeling in your dream. You feel that you are flying, and there are no worries, even in the tensest of moments.But there was a good news. Students of Science courses had been exempted because there wasn't much time for us to prepare our syllabus. I was so happy.

Then my dream transitioned to a place near my old School, in front of Iskon Temple in Kailash Hills. I saw a group of bullies approaching me, and they tried to provoke me into a fight. But instead of being enraged, I tackled them diplomatically and made my way out. Pretty much consistent with my actual nature(hell yes, it was me dreaming right?). Then while walking, you know the feeling, flying away, and put on another place.

Well, after many many months, I saw someone in my dream, an old friend(:D :D you got it right). She was standing a bit distant. I could see her, but she couldn't see or hear me. So gloomily, I made my way back through a path which had sprang right next to me. And in the end of that was a nice cafe, with white tables and chairs, like in parks, outside, and near one of them was my friend standing, smiling to me. Then it all went black.

Then I woke up. An hour before.